Italy's Language is More Than Italian!

An excerpt from my upcoming memoir

Outdoor market in Florence (Firenze)

From year to year, I forget just how Italy works. OK, by North American standards, it doesn't work! After touring a fair bit of Italy, I question why North American standards and judgments are my point of reference. I suppose it’s because these standards are all I’ve known my entire life.

Italians are unique! Admittedly, they are administratively dysfunctional (rules constantly change without notice), disorganized, directionally challenged and chaotic—but it all seems so non importante to Italians, of no concern whatsoever. In fact, it seems woven into the fabric of their culture and lifestyle.

Words are not their true and ultimate form of communication. It's the gestures and actions coupled with words—even a non-response—that make up this language. To that end, given my commitment to study Italian with my new young tutor (who, by the way, is not too hard on the eyes and is at a complete loss as to why I am so fascinated by this language), I realize I’m better off just observing, listening and being more plugged into behavior than the words.



This has forced me to adopt a different strategy to deal with what so frustrated me initially. I now see this as an opportunity to realize what is truly important. As North Americans, we require and thrive on order and control over every aspect of our lives, not to mention the lives of everyone else with whom we come into contact. For us, control is as essential as breathing.

But here in Italy, if a glitch, a hiccup along the way, means it takes Italians a little longer to arrive at their destination—if a shop unexpectedly closes without notice for a wedding celebration, or a car stops in the middle of the street so the driver can speak with a friend, holding up traffic—Italians readjust, find an alternative, and seem not to fuss over these slight inconveniences. Everyone here is preoccupied with the perfect espresso, an afternoon warm greeting, or even cleaning, which seems to be Italy’s national pastime.

Lifestyle is key for Italians, much as it is for Hawaiians. Italy, however, is a country scented with Dolce & Gabbana floral perfumes and Fabuloso cleaning detergent! A heady combination that makes the country so unique. Italians revel in details and acknowledge them with animated gestures.

Yesterday, I was invited to a dear friend's for an afternoon espresso and “a refresher,” which I assumed was a cold shower or a swim, but turned out to be freshly extracted peach juice with a kumquat garnish, crushed ice, topped with a white Dendrobium orchid and a chilled straw. With a series of graceful gestures, my dear amico instructed the bar gentleman to prepare my refresher by touching his mouth, then the shiny chrome designer juicer and finally waving to the garden. My tutor did not teach me this!

Ah ... language. I’m learning! I hope I don’t end up with a roasted pigeon and a train ticket to Palermo in place of a cappuccino and cantucci when I use my newly acquired skills of the gesture!
Mi auguro buona fortuna!*

*Good luck to me!